The original poem, often circulated as a single stanza, reads:
In traditional relationships, "being used" is a negative. But Wilder’s work rebrands it as a form of dark curiosity. The speaker is not a martyr; she is an anthropologist of her own destruction. you have me you use me dainty wilder exclusive
Psychologists point to the concept of as a coping mechanism for intimacy anxiety. When you say, “You have me, you use me,” you are surrendering responsibility. You are saying, “If you ruin me, it is your fault.” The exclusivity of the feeling—the secret that you are allowing this—creates a twisted bond between the user and the used. The original poem, often circulated as a single